“Bitter sweet ecstasy that you got me in,
Fallen deep, I can’t sleep tonight.”
I jammed to my favourite song in the car while savouring my Pumpkin Spice Lotté from Starbucks. With Rita Ora blaring through the speakers and the wind blowing in from the window, I could pretty much already call it a day.
“Nothing ever, gets me high like this.”
I’ve never related or perhaps enjoyed this song as much as I did this very moment. Today marks the third day after my break up with Kevin about 2 weeks ago. Not to mention after a 4 year long relationship.
“Nothing can kill me like you do.”
All the time we’ve had been together, I’ve always allowed him to kill me. I swear his presence was like a drug to me ’cause I was surely addicted to it.
“You’re going straight to my head.”
But I soon realized that mine was like a cigarette to him. He would always enjoy a smoke but throw me away when done.
“And I’m heading straight for the edge.”
I know he was playing all this while but it took me years to finally resist him. I knew he was killing me from inside, but I could not help but savour it.
“I pick my poison and it’s you.”
But I just knew I’ve had enough and could not handle it anymore. He was no longer that drug I was addicted to; he was now a poison. Killing me, gradually. I was no more that cigarette, but rather alcohol. Bitter sweet, yet enjoyable.
I was killing myself.
He was enjoying it.
© Khushi Suneja
A/N : The lyrics I’ve used in here are of the song Poison by Rita Ora.