Not you, again

No. Not you, again.

Bearing you is beyond my ken.

Not letting you touch me, anymore.

Staying alone, evermore.

Never letting you ever reach me.

No matter how hard it is gonna be.

Never letting your shadow on me, fall.

Wouldn’t ever again, let you appall.

After all the years that we’ve together spent,

Thanks for giving me reasons to lament.

Wasting my time on you was a mistake.

Was the biggest ever risk to take.

You never spare me a moment to cherish.

Causing what you could; my life to perish.

Finally after learning how to resist,

Never again questioned why do I even exist.

Now I’m happy the way I am.

Never letting you my joy, scam.

No. Not you, again.

Never. Never again.

Denial

You didn’t see my tears, didn’t see me cry within.

Never saw my scars, nor the pain I carried in.

Simply ignored my bruises plus those dirty marks.

Rewarded me with taunts and rude remarks.

You screamed, slapped and defied.

I hid, fell and cried.

You hurt me a million times, all you had was me to assault.

I backed up a thousand times, praying that you would stop.

I cried all night, while you slept.

Saving all I could; a secret that I kept.

You would often call me names, often appall.

I would often ignore, never recall.

You simply didn’t care to notice what my heart desired.

You did all you could and I never backfired.

My body wanted to escape, wanted a revival.

Unfortunately, it couldn’t. ‘Cause I was living in denial.

Broken

My viens crimson red, my heart royal blue.

Couldn’t believe a truth that was inevitably true.

The sun was out at midnight, the moon anything but pure white. 

I looked all o’er for you, 

But there seemed no time to bid adieu.

With passing time, my wounds healed.

Though the scars remained.

My tears dried up and I learned to swallow the pain.

With a frozen heartbeat and accursed lips, 

I take your name, but find zilch amidst.

But all that I know is that you’ll retreat. 

Perhaps, you’ll fake a cry or even fall on your knees.

Years later, you’ll look for my heart.

And in an attempt, pull 2 souls apart.

You’ll search for the lover you’d left before,

But find the devil take me o’er.

You’ll find a place where my heartbeat does reside.

Though, unfortunately, there’s not a heart but a black stone inside.

You’ll touch my face but find no warmth in there,

My love’s completely cold, lone and bare.

You’ll try to find whether there’s any love left,

But there’s just broken promises, denial; my heart’s bereft.

You’ll look into my eyes, try to peep in.

Try to find your answers but just find a question within….

You knew that I was broken from the inside,

How could you have the audacity to break me twice? 

In A Labyrinth

I looked up to the sky.

Clueless.

Not knowing what the next chapter of life would unveil.

I looked up to the clear sky, though not with a clear mind.

Voices in my head, calling out my name.

Demons of my past, chasing me.

My fears approaching me, like a nightmare.

I shook my head.

And once again looked up to the sky.

Pointless.

Monsters in my head, screaming.

I was tumbling, falling.

I was being chased by the nightmares of my past.

My future self hiding under the tranquil of anxiety.

My present self trapped by the dreadful chains of loneliness.

I was helpless.

I looked up to the sky.

Demons of my past, chasing.

Monsters in my head, screaming.

Nostalgic Footsteps

Here, we roam about, like fishes in a pond.

Talking about the days that are forever, ever gone.

Muttering things of which we are not so fond.         

And thus, all night, we go on and on.

We go about talking of things of the past. 

Some things that were never real. 

Some things that never did last.

But we go about saying all that we feel.

We go about talking all night, all day.

We seldom ever utter a Goodbye. 

We go about saying all that we have to say.

And hence, we’ll go about until we die.

We roam about the streets, hand-in-hand.

Talking about the things that are forever, ever gone.

We laugh, we cry, we talk and…

So, our lives go on and on.

We wonder if anyone does care.

What if to someone we really matter?

We don’t, perhaps, have this burden to bear.

Thus, all night, we chatter.

The clock struck eight,

But we just didn’t care.

We carried on till late.

With our feet all bare.

We walked past noon.

We ran till the dawn.

Saying ‘hello’ to the moon,

We went on and on.

We smiled through the pain,

We just didn’t cry.

We laughed in vain.

Till our lips went all dry. 

We went on as if,

We had nothing to fear,

Along the chills and amidst

All those glares. 

We went about striding

To the place we belong.

And thus, we reached our destination

As we went on and on.

Faint Traces Of Your Memory

It was a Sunday morning, I distinctly remember.

I sipped on my coffee as I hummed to myself,

While you laid on the other end of the saloon.

We locked eyes, for what seemed like eternity,

Before I looked away and perhaps, you didn’t. 

It was a Sunday morning, I distinctly remember. 

When you took me out for breakfast for the first time ever.

I could feel your eyes admiring my face as I savoured the waffles that you had ordered for us.

I remember how I blushed while you complimented me for my dress.

I remember how you made me smile for the first time in weeks.

I remember how your gaze never left my face all day.

But just don’t remember how you did that so perfectly.

It was a Sunday morning, I distinctly remember.

When you held my hand into yours and looked right into my eyes.

I could feel my cheeks turn red as you pulled me closer and lessened the distance between us.

I remember how I felt the butterflies in my stomach while you looked at me with so much affection.

I remember feeling your breath on my neck while I looked down to the ground.

I remember how you cupped my face, making me meet your gaze before you pulled me into your embrace.

But just don’t remember how we fell in love that quick.

It was a Sunday morning, I distinctly remember.

When you knocked at my door, early in the morning.

I could feel my smile grow wider as you handed me those lovely, red roses.

I remember how you made me blush, yet again, with your wonderful compliments.

I remember how you made me fall deeper in love with you, so perfectly.

But just don’t remember how you managed to do that so effortlessly.

It was a Sunday morning, I distinctly remember.

When we finally exchanged our vows,in front of our families in the Church.

I could feel your eyes on me as I walked down the aisle.

I remember how you took my hand into yours and murmured yet another compliment.

I remember how you looked into my eyes as we exchanged our rings.

But just don’t remember, how we grew that strong within a year.

It was a Sunday morning, I distinctly remember.

When you stepped out of the house, with your luggage right beside you.

I could feel my eyes getting teary as I saw you leaving.

I remember you telling me that you’d return soon while holding me in your embrace.

I remember you giving me kisses on my cheek, trying to make me feel better. 

I remember you taking your first step out of the house, promising to return soon.

But just don’t remember how soon, you said you’d come.

It was a Sunday morning, I distinctly remember.

When I kept myself preoccupied in the company of a dirty liar named nostalgia.

I could feel the pain and sorrow while switching through our pictures in the gallery.

I remember smiling through the pain, watching you hold my hand in the photograph as I smiled to the ground.

I remember recalling our moments, day after day, trying to miss you a little lesser.

I remember crying myself to sleep, praying that you would come back soon.

But just don’t remember how all of my prayers went unanswered.  

It was a Sunday morning, I distinctly remember.

When you locked eyes again, but this time not mine brown, but her black ones.

I could see your grin grow wider as she whispered something in your ears as my heart stopped for an instance.

I remember, you making her blush, like how you used to make me.

I remember, you calling her ‘beautiful’, the same way you used to call me.

I remember, you holding her hand, as if it were mine.

I remember, you loving her the same way you loved me.

I remember, tears rolling down my eyes as you broke my heart into a million little pieces.

I remember, my soul leaving my body, gradually, as it no longer had enough strength to hold on.

I remember, missing you.

Loving you.

Wanting you.

But just don’t remember, leaving you.


If Only…

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If only, you had not left my place in disgust,

I could have apologized.

If only, you had waited at my doorstep,

My girl, I would have treated you right.

If only, you had slapped me a couple o’ times,

I would have realized.

If only, you had been in your senses,

We would have never had this fight.

If only, you had seen the truth in my eyes,

We’d have been alright.

If only, you had listened to your heart,

And not the demons inside.

If only, you had kept your anger,

And that frustration aside.

If only, you had not banged that door,

And simply, stride.

If only, you had not found your car keys,

And driven at midnight.

AND…

If only, you had not met that fatal truck,

You’d had still been by my side.