Wake me up\\k.s

Wake me up, when we’re done.

No longer in this war that we earlier begun.

Wake me up, as this gets over.

No one bitter; just love leftover.

Wake me up, as soon as we progress.

When we get up, get over this mess.

Wake me up, as we finish it for ever.

Even if we die in attempts to endeavour.

Wake me up, when I no longer see them dead.

All good, as we move ahead.

Wake me up, when everythin’s alright.

Back in shape, as we give up the fight.

Wake me up, as my kid arrives.

My wife no longer praying that I survive.

Wake me up, when we finally act sane.

Not the monsters, that suck on brains.

Wake me up, when everyone’s fine.

Celebrating the win, chucking on wine.

Wake me up, when we’re no longer in pain.

As the war, dies again.

Wake me up, when we all end up alive.

As through the situation, we soon contrive.

Wake me up, as we unite.

And if we reach back our homes tonight.

© Khushi Suneja

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Will you? \\k.s

I have never been loved.

Why do you feel so? Replied the boy.

I don’t have a hand to hold this fall. With the leaves that are shedding, shed my self confidence and hope. No one to wipe my tears and say that I’m pretty. Look me into the eyes with utmost love, embrace my flaws and promise to love me till the next fall and many more. No one. None.

But what if you’re not able to see the love through your despairing eyes?

Am I really that unfortunate to not sense the love that exists? Am I really that flawed to not notice the one who loves(me)?

Not unfortunate, my love. Just despaired. He thought.

Look at those unfortunate trees, shedding the leaves with teary eyes but with the hope that they’ll retreat the next spring.

Well I have no one to hope for to come back. No one to say goodbye to, with the hope that they’ll come back.

The one who actually loves, will never leave, Susan. You wouldn’t ever have any goodbyes to give, a kiss to spare, or a hand to wave. Believe me. He’ll stay. All you have to do is remain like a tree, waiting for your hope and love to grow back like the leaves. Said the boy to the girl he loved.

Well, will you?

Will I what?

Will you stay?

Yes, had I loved you. He said, with a voice almost cracking, sweaty palms and teary eyes.

She cried a little and he smiled.

As he left for Vietnam, he waved at her as she waved back and he turned his head. She waved while muttering a love you behind his back.

As he muttered a love you too.

And so she waited like a tree in the fall, seeing her favourite flower gloom, waiting for the spring to come and bring him along.

©Khushi Suneja

18 \\k.s

Wriggling at the back of my throat; a thought straight through my mind.

Will I ever be content? “Well yes”, my heart lied.

This little world to which I was confined,

Got my soul all soaked and my hands all tied.

You just went to work,

While I prepared your food.

You spent time around your clerks,

While I cleaned, cooked and brewed.

Feeding my little kid,

While I missed out on meals.

Switching diapers was all I did,

While my pals exchanged deals.

I taught my little one,

While you drowned in your sleep,

I stayed up with my son,

Without a blink of the eye, but yeah a lil weep.

My job was to clean the dishes,

Make your clothes, spotless.

Taking care of your wishes,

Leaving my life, lifeless.

Hurt was an understatement,

As my life, away from me, was snatched.

With your due acknowledgement,

What I believe, we never matched.

I was only 18, when my life came to a halt.

And people just ask me why.

I say that I was married off.

And left alone to cry.

© Khushi Suneja

To The One Within \\k.s

Dear self,

I know you’re trying your hardest to be at your best. Behind the smile that you fake everyday, I can see the pain. I can see the pain within your gorgeous eyes that lie behind those big frame glasses. I can hear your soul cry.

Cry, cry.

I can feel your body get numb each time you see yourself in the mirror. Wondering, whether there’ll ever come a time when you’ll look a little better. I can see you curse under your breath each time you get a glimpse. I don’t blame you. I was never impressed by what I saw in the mirror either.

I can feel you getting nauseated each time you get reminded of your past. Each time someone mentions it, you feel like dying, I know. I can feel it too. Recalling everything, makes you cry.

Cry, cry.

I know pretty girl, what’s going inside of you.

Love,

Self.

© Khushi Suneja

Broken💔 \\k.s

My viens crimson red, my heart royal blue.

Couldn’t believe a truth that was inevitably true.

The sun was out at midnight, the moon anything but pure white.

I looked all o’er for you,

But there seemed no time to bid adieu.

With passing time, my wounds healed.

Though the scars remained.

My tears dried up and I learned to swallow the pain.

With a frozen heartbeat and accursed lips,

I take your name, but find zilch amidst.

But all that I know is that you’ll retreat.

Perhaps, you’ll fake a cry or even fall on your knees.

Years later, you’ll look for my heart.

And in an attempt, pull 2 souls apart.

You’ll search for the lover you’d left before,

But find the devil take me o’er.

You’ll find a place where my heartbeat does reside.

Though, unfortunately, there’s not a heart but a black stone inside.

You’ll touch my face but find no warmth in there,

My love’s completely cold, lone and bare.

You’ll try to find whether there’s any love left,

But there’s just broken promises, denial; my heart’s bereft.

You’ll look into my eyes, try to peep in.

Try to find your answers but just find a question within….

You knew that I was broken from the inside,

How could you have the audacity to break me twice?

© Khushi Suneja

Poison \\k.s

“Bitter sweet ecstasy that you got me in,

Fallen deep, I can’t sleep tonight.”

I jammed to my favourite song in the car while savouring my Pumpkin Spice Lotté from Starbucks. With Rita Ora blaring through the speakers and the wind blowing in from the window, I could pretty much already call it a day.

“Nothing ever, gets me high like this.”

I’ve never related or perhaps enjoyed this song as much as I did this very moment. Today marks the third day after my break up with Kevin about 2 weeks ago. Not to mention after a 4 year long relationship.

“Nothing can kill me like you do.”

All the time we’ve had been together, I’ve always allowed him to kill me. I swear his presence was like a drug to me ’cause I was surely addicted to it.

You’re going straight to my head.”

But I soon realized that mine was like a cigarette to him. He would always enjoy a smoke but throw me away when done.

“And I’m heading straight for the edge.”

I know he was playing all this while but it took me years to finally resist him. I knew he was killing me from inside, but I could not help but savour it.

“I pick my poison and it’s you.”

But I just knew I’ve had enough and could not handle it anymore. He was no longer that drug I was addicted to; he was now a poison. Killing me, gradually. I was no more that cigarette, but rather alcohol. Bitter sweet, yet enjoyable.

I was killing myself.

He was enjoying it.

© Khushi Suneja

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A/N : The lyrics I’ve used in here are of the song Poison by Rita Ora.