Tears

Running down my cheeks, while I faked a smile, my tears looked up to me, begging for an answer. I couldn’t reply a word. Watching him leave, left me without a word and spare me only tears. Tears. He looked at me with so much love, assuring me that he would return. I couldn’t help but smile. Smile, and wave a goodbye. Smile, and cry. I watched him depart. Saw him fiddle with his luggage while trying to wave me back a goodbye. Trying to control his tears. Tears. I tried to force mine in somehow but failed. Failed to depart him with a smile. Failed to let him leave with a feeling that it’ll be alright and that he’d return. Failed to see him depart without tears. Tears. I wish I had something to say before his departure. Wish that I had something to assure him that I’ll be alright. Wish that I had gifted him something else instead of those tears. Tears. I wonder how life would be without him. Wonder how I’ll pass my time without him by my side. Wonder how I’ll live with all those tears. Tears. I wonder how his life would be without me. Would he be alright? Would he survive these years with a smile? Or would he live with all those tears. Tears. I wish it wasn’t as hard as it is. I wish it was not that complicated. I wish it was easy to let go. I wish it was easy to forget all the moments we’ve had together, you know, just to feel a little better.

I wish it was easy to live with a smile. 

I wish it was easy to live without those tears.

Tears.

Chaos

Running like a wild mess, I looked behind my back. Monstrous men in black, chasing me. The wind being not so generous, blocking my way now and then. I turned once more and ran as fast as I could. I reminded myself of how I used to run away from situations, back in my childhood. It was of no use, though. I heard the noise of the bullet that went right past my arm and hit the building in front. I took a turn, yet again and continued to run. I reached the corner of the street and felt no way out. 

Dead end.

Finding no way out, I started to run inside the building that laid at the corner. Started climbing up the stairs, heading for the roof. The tapping of their boots, still audible. I wondered if I could finally get caught, today. What if they never reach me, like those hundred times?  Running wild, I crossed the steps with heaving breaths. Black tuxedos trying to get hold of me, grasp me, catch me. I swayed here and there, switching my lanes. Finally, those black ties thought of a strategy and surrounded me … 3 men in front, 5 behind. The leader took out his gun aiming at my eye, shouting what felt like a warning, most likely asking for surrender. Aha. Nice move, gunshot. I said to him. He loaded the bullet. I made my move.

Running past him, dodging the bullets I pushed myself through and went right into the glass window, falling down the building. Those tuxedos trying to find a way out. I, looked at my right injured arm and said to the blood flowing through that chaos, was I ; that whirlpool of mess…these black ties could never catch.

I fled as fast as I could.

Denial

You didn’t see my tears, didn’t see me cry within.

Never saw my scars, nor the pain I carried in.

Simply ignored my bruises plus those dirty marks.

Rewarded me with taunts and rude remarks.

You screamed, slapped and defied.

I hid, fell and cried.

You hurt me a million times, all you had was me to assault.

I backed up a thousand times, praying that you would stop.

I cried all night, while you slept.

Saving all I could; a secret that I kept.

You would often call me names, often appall.

I would often ignore, never recall.

You simply didn’t care to notice what my heart desired.

You did all you could and I never backfired.

My body wanted to escape, wanted a revival.

Unfortunately, it couldn’t. ‘Cause I was living in denial.

Tuxedo

Classic bowtie.

Rado wristwatch.

White shirt.

Black Tuxedo.

The entire arena stood in silence to listen to the beats of his expensive footwear from Woodland. The room blossomed with the aroma of his Gucci scent. The audience silently admired his Armani white shirt. The ladies were left in ephemeral ecstacy; the gentlemen in absolute envy. 

He walked with pride, without a care in the world. He was never neck deep into women; nor was the wine his cup of tea

Ignoring all the masculine glares and the feminine stares, he came to a halt and ordered a lemonade for himself. He sipped his first and looked around himself with his beautiful brown, kohl-smeared eyes. He stood apart from the rest of the arena. No matter how rich he was, he did not fit in even the slighest bit wheresoever he went.

“The outside world is a cruel place.” His dad always used to say. After all, he was the one who used to understand him the best. He was the only one left for him since he turned 14, as his mother departed, for someone even richer, leaving behind a rich single father and a rich young kid. Now what only remains of his dad, is his words. The ones which he spoke before he allowed the alcohol that he had consumed, consume him. 

He was not the friendliest kid in highschool. Nor was he the heartbreaker. But definitely someone with a past and a story of his own. Perhaps, which made him stand apart from the rest of the world. Everyone knew that he hid a secret within those wonderful eyes; a story behind that attitude.The world soon, accepted as he was. But he could not help but wonder, if it was okay to be the weirdest of all.

As he pondered over this fact, he recalled what his dad once averred. To be the number 1, you gotta be odd. He smirked. There comes the answer to all his queries. 

He finished sipping his last…. and with all eyes on him he strode. The world now beheld, a confident, young man. 

The man in that black tuxedo.

Faint Traces Of Your Memory

It was a Sunday morning, I distinctly remember.

I sipped on my coffee as I hummed to myself,

While you laid on the other end of the saloon.

We locked eyes, for what seemed like eternity,

Before I looked away and perhaps, you didn’t. 

It was a Sunday morning, I distinctly remember. 

When you took me out for breakfast for the first time ever.

I could feel your eyes admiring my face as I savoured the waffles that you had ordered for us.

I remember how I blushed while you complimented me for my dress.

I remember how you made me smile for the first time in weeks.

I remember how your gaze never left my face all day.

But just don’t remember how you did that so perfectly.

It was a Sunday morning, I distinctly remember.

When you held my hand into yours and looked right into my eyes.

I could feel my cheeks turn red as you pulled me closer and lessened the distance between us.

I remember how I felt the butterflies in my stomach while you looked at me with so much affection.

I remember feeling your breath on my neck while I looked down to the ground.

I remember how you cupped my face, making me meet your gaze before you pulled me into your embrace.

But just don’t remember how we fell in love that quick.

It was a Sunday morning, I distinctly remember.

When you knocked at my door, early in the morning.

I could feel my smile grow wider as you handed me those lovely, red roses.

I remember how you made me blush, yet again, with your wonderful compliments.

I remember how you made me fall deeper in love with you, so perfectly.

But just don’t remember how you managed to do that so effortlessly.

It was a Sunday morning, I distinctly remember.

When we finally exchanged our vows,in front of our families in the Church.

I could feel your eyes on me as I walked down the aisle.

I remember how you took my hand into yours and murmured yet another compliment.

I remember how you looked into my eyes as we exchanged our rings.

But just don’t remember, how we grew that strong within a year.

It was a Sunday morning, I distinctly remember.

When you stepped out of the house, with your luggage right beside you.

I could feel my eyes getting teary as I saw you leaving.

I remember you telling me that you’d return soon while holding me in your embrace.

I remember you giving me kisses on my cheek, trying to make me feel better. 

I remember you taking your first step out of the house, promising to return soon.

But just don’t remember how soon, you said you’d come.

It was a Sunday morning, I distinctly remember.

When I kept myself preoccupied in the company of a dirty liar named nostalgia.

I could feel the pain and sorrow while switching through our pictures in the gallery.

I remember smiling through the pain, watching you hold my hand in the photograph as I smiled to the ground.

I remember recalling our moments, day after day, trying to miss you a little lesser.

I remember crying myself to sleep, praying that you would come back soon.

But just don’t remember how all of my prayers went unanswered.  

It was a Sunday morning, I distinctly remember.

When you locked eyes again, but this time not mine brown, but her black ones.

I could see your grin grow wider as she whispered something in your ears as my heart stopped for an instance.

I remember, you making her blush, like how you used to make me.

I remember, you calling her ‘beautiful’, the same way you used to call me.

I remember, you holding her hand, as if it were mine.

I remember, you loving her the same way you loved me.

I remember, tears rolling down my eyes as you broke my heart into a million little pieces.

I remember, my soul leaving my body, gradually, as it no longer had enough strength to hold on.

I remember, missing you.

Loving you.

Wanting you.

But just don’t remember, leaving you.


If Only…

Uploading…

If only, you had not left my place in disgust,

I could have apologized.

If only, you had waited at my doorstep,

My girl, I would have treated you right.

If only, you had slapped me a couple o’ times,

I would have realized.

If only, you had been in your senses,

We would have never had this fight.

If only, you had seen the truth in my eyes,

We’d have been alright.

If only, you had listened to your heart,

And not the demons inside.

If only, you had kept your anger,

And that frustration aside.

If only, you had not banged that door,

And simply, stride.

If only, you had not found your car keys,

And driven at midnight.

AND…

If only, you had not met that fatal truck,

You’d had still been by my side.